So here I am one month into the four month internship. I cannot believe how quickly time has flown by. There is so much to do over the coming months and yet it feels like no time at all.
I am not the best at continually processing my thoughts and feelings (just ask any of my exes!). You can also tell this by the gaps in posts on my blog. So I am trying something different. Originally I wanted to do a video blog because I do love to talk, but uploading the videos have proven a bit difficult. So I am giving another shot at a technique I tried last year.
During the spring semester I was enrolled in a leadership course with the major project being professional and personal development. During this project I would use a run to mentally process my thoughts and feelings. I found this to be effective and lead to several meaningful breakthroughs.
Over the next few weeks I will be going for a run (jog) three days a week. On these runs I will talk to myself (journal) to process what is going on inside and around me. Once I return to my day, I will blog about what I processed. Let's see how it goes!
*Jogger's Journal 1*
Many of us seemingly spend much of our lives trying to be "happy". When speaking with others about where they are in their lives we might say, "Are you happy?". In our own decision making process we ask ourselves, "Will this decisions make me happy?".
Happy. What does it even mean? What does it look like in action in our lives? How do you really achieve true happiness?
For the longest time in my life I became good at pretending to be happy. I could always place a smile on face and achieve the appearance of a happy person. I might have even been a little happy. I do know that I wanted to be "happy" with such a passion that I would even attempt to fool myself.
I do not think I woke up one day and said, "today I am happy!", with an earth shattering change in the way my life played out. I feel like it has taken many years of telling myself, "today you will try to be happy". Then I reached a point where I didn't have to remind myself to try but still short of achieving said happiness.
Today on my run I looked down the road ahead of me as I jammed out to some dance tunes in my ears and realized,.."today I am happy!" It was an incredible moment.
This declaration does not mean that all is right in my life and I wish for no more. It simply means I am content with the decisions I have made that have lead me to this point in my life and I am excited to see what else is in store.
It was a realization that after years of consciously seeking bliss, it came upon me unexpectedly but as a result of my choices. Contentment is not a place I have enjoyed in my life much because I often associate it with complacency. As my days move forward, the difference in this two stases are quite different. Whereas complaency signifies no movement due to lack of options, contentment represents satisfaction with my presence in the moment and anticipation of everything else.
So what is happiness to you? Where are you on the journey to fulfillment?
I am confident that when the time comes for my last breath I will have lived this life to its fullest. Between now and then....there will be a lot of great things to come!
Be well!
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